Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
