i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
