its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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