i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
