Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
