We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this will be a night to untag.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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