You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
