My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
