i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
