If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
