hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize