Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
