drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
