I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
