I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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