yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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