i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
