Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize