i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
