You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we should paint friendship bongs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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