i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sext me about skeletons
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
