I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
