yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
