did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
