i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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