It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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