I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
