Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
