So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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