What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
only if we run a train.
done.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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