woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
