You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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