On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
