just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
