may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
