Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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