how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
