i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
