OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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