this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
