So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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