One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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