I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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