I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize