She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
