I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
