you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
