Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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