Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
