She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
