Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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