I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
