did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
