It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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