spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
