my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
