just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
