Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
