Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
