Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
