she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
