my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
