I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
