dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
